Loosening the noose, feeding the fat, sparing the glutes... and a donut!

What!!! This can't be part of the program, I hear you say. No it's not part of the program, and I'm not giving up, or making excuses - just re-taking control for a day. How? Isn't this losing control? No, not necessarily. Let me explain...
I started my day with a helping of yoghurt and protein mix. At my work I drank water and black coffee. For lunch I ate fish again - warm this time, and with melted cheese.
In the course of the day I viewed the Shapeshifter site so I could note down the exercises for the evening session I'd do around 5pm.
Now here's where my plans changed. The session for today is called Cardioflow, and it's a series of movements followed one after the other in a fluid continuation - almost like a dance movement. Shapeshifter emphasized that this was not a workout as such, but that I should take the time just to learn and practise the movements as a whole - this session is apparantly repeated throughout the 6week program at specific intervals.
Now, there's 10 different exercises built into the sequence, and the transitions from one to the other are just as important as the exercise movements themselves.
This sounded like a nice change from the last few intense days, and I was quite prepared to get to it when my workday finished.
Until 4pm came... the trouble with fridays here are that many people hang around a bit longer - last minute meetings and discussions and paperwork and controles before we close up for the weekend. To add to this, I was also waiting for an electrician to turn up to fix some problem with our alarm system. So I wasn't really free until after 5pm. By that time I was really looking forward to getting home.
So I decided I could just as well come back the next day, and spend some quality time to do this cardioflow session in the morning - it's not a workout so it really doesn't matter when I do it... (and it would give my glutes a bit more time to recover - they were still sensitive after yesterday's lunges). Doing it on saturday when I'm alone in the building meant I could spend a couple of hours to really master the sequence, and that would also mean I wasn't too tired to do the planned day-7 session, which was also a lighter "regeneration and quick-booster" session. I saw it as a "full-day" project, and decided it was a good idea - so I went home.
Home, however, also wasn't a quiet place - my son had invited 6 friends over to come eat with him (he cooks for himself while I'm on this program). So the kitchen was occupied for most of the evening- as was the living/dining room. So I retired into my own room, ate a large serving of joghurt and fruit and nuts and proteinmix for my dinner, and spent the evening writing up all my notes and uploading pics and videos to this site. Without the calories of a main meal to count, I treated myself to a glass of port, and threw a bit of whisky into my coffee.
Of course, this didn't all go without me questioning my own motives - was I caving in to old habits, being lazy, unable to stick to the program - was I making excuses, was I taking a risk?
Oh... probably all this, but I can also see some advantage in this. You know how alcoholics and smokers, once they give up really can never take one drink or cigarette, because they're likely to lose controle?... well it's the same here - once you commit to following one regimen or another, you pretty much give up your controle, you dare not break the protocol in fear of losing all that you've worked for. That is the risk of course - but I'd rather know that I could break protocol at my own discretion, and be strong enough to keep on track and make up for lost ground. This is a test... can I allow myself to be free to make unhealthy choices now and again, and not feel guilty because I trust myself to rectify and amend them in an equally positive way?
I want to be able to do this, that is my defense and you can be my judge. And in that frame of mind I accepted a donut that my son offered me. Drool!



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